Christmas is over!

I survived the house invasion and making dinner for 13 people!  Mom, dad, and Grandma left yesterday, so all that is left is to take down the tree and do a tun of laundry.  I did finally get my hair cut.  It was way to long.  When I start sitting on my hair I know it is time to cut it.  The guy put layers into it, when I specifically asked him not to do that.  grrr.  After 8 years of living in the area I still have yet to find a hair dresser that I like and who will listen to me!  J keeps reassuring me that it is okay.  I just HATE layers!  Photo will come later...

Yesterday

We spent 6 hours shoveling our driveway!

Dante loved the snow and bounded through it as we shoveled away.

He looked like a rabbit!

When he was done he was covered in mini-snowballs that prevented him from seeing. We had to give him a bath to get them all off!

Chocolate Chip Butter Cookies Recipe

Courtesy: http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/Chocolate-Chip-Butter-Cookies

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter, cubed
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup confectioners' sugar
• 1 cup (6 ounces) miniature semisweet chocolate chips
  

Directions

• Melt butter in a microwave or double boiler; stir in vanilla. Cool completely. In a large bowl, combine flour and sugar; stir in butter mixture and chocolate chips (mixture will be crumbly).
• Shape into 1-in. balls. Place 2 in. apart on ungreased baking sheets; flatten slightly. Bake at 375° for 12 minutes or until edges begin to brown. Cool on wire racks. Yield: about 4 dozen.

Dante in the snow...

Snow and cooking...

We are getting a big snow storm so I am cooking...
First up Chocolate Espresso Shortbread cookies...
Courtesy: http://smittenkitchen.com/2007/12/espresso-chocolate-shortbread-cookies/ 
Makes 32 cookies
1 tablespoon instant espresso powder
1 tablespoon boiling water
2 sticks (8 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2/3 cup confectioners’ sugar
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
4 ounces bittersweet chocolate (plain, or a toffee variety), finely chopped, or 3/4 cup store-bought mini chocolate chips
Confectioners’ sugar, for dusting (optional)
1. Dissolve the espresso in the boiling water, and set aside to cool to tepid.
2. Working with a stand mixer, preferably fitted with a paddle attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together on medium speed for about 3 minutes, until the mixture is very smooth. Beat in the vanilla and espresso, then reduce the mixer speed to low and add the flour, mixing only until it disappears into the dough. Don’t work the dough much once the flour is incorporated. Fold in the chopped chocolate with a sturdy rubber spatula.
3. Using the spatula, transfer the soft, sticky dough to a gallon-size zipper-lock plastic bag. Put the bag on a flat surface, leaving the top open, and roll the dough into a 9 x 10 1/2 inch rectangle that’s 1/4 inch thick. As you roll, turn the bag occasionally and lift the plastic from the dough so it doesn’t cause creases. When you get the right size and thickness, seal the bag, pressing out as much air as possible, and refrigerate the dough for at least 2 hours, or for up to 2 days.
4. Position the racks to divide the oven into thirds and preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment or silicone mats.
5. Put the plastic bag on a cutting board and slit it open. Turn the firm dough out onto the board (discard the bag) and, using a ruler as a guide and a sharp knife, cut the dough into 1 1/2-inch squares. Transfer the squares to the baking sheets and carefully prick each one twice with a fork, gently pushing the tines through the cookies until they hit the sheet.
6. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, rotating the sheets from top to bottom and front to back at the midway point. The shortbreads will be very pale–they shouldn’t take on much color. Transfer the cookies to a rack.
7. If you’d like, dust the cookies with confectioners’ sugar while they are still hot. Cool the cookies to room temperature before serving.

Next up Stew...
(Courtesy of the food network: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/old-time-beef-stew-recipe/index.html)

Ingredients

• 2 pounds stew beef
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 cups water
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 clove garlic, peeled
• 1 or 2 bay leaves
• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• Dash ground allspice or ground cloves
• 3 large carrots, sliced
• 3 ribs celery, chopped
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch

Directions

Brown meat in hot oil. Add water, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, bay leaves, onion, salt, sugar, pepper, paprika, and allspice. Cover and simmer 1 1/2 hours. Remove bay leaves and garlic clove. Add carrots and celery. Cover and cook 30 to 40 minutes longer. To thicken gravy, remove 2 cups hot liquid. Using a separate bowl, combine 1/4 cup water and cornstarch until smooth. Mix with a little hot liquid and return mixture to pot. Stir and cook until bubbly.

New Plan...

This is the space I am using to work on my new fertillity plan. 

Goal: exercise 2-3 times a week
Monday: Yoga 30 min; walk for 30 min
Tuesday: Rest
Wed: Yoga 30 min; walk for 30 min
Thursday: Rest
Friday: yoga 30 min; walk for 30 min
Sat: Rest
Sun: Rest
___________________
Eat better:
Goal: Balance protiens and carbs
Breakfast (smoothie, oatmeal, eggs)
Lunch (salad w/ meat, sandwich wrap, soup)
Dinner (grilled meats, nut encrusted meats, stir fry, crock pots, pot pies, meat loaf, wraps)
_______________________
Joy Journal
Record daily efforts to meet goals.
___________________
Rules: no alcohol, caffeine

Going to start this on Monday. 

Happiness

I realized last night, as I was baking cookies, that I love my life.  I love my husband and the journey it took to find him.  I love our house and our dog and and truly hopeful that one day we will be able to expand our family with kinds of our own.  I know I have been obsessed with TTC and now I think I need to stop the obsession and step back and let things go as they should. 

We had family over yesterday to put up and get the tree.  J was talking with his mom and the Thanksgiving drama was brought up.  I mentioned how I was hurt by the comment that J's dad made in front of everyone.  J talked to his dad about it and it became a bit heated between them.  As much as I don't want to be caught in between father/son relationships, a part of me melted when J said that if his dad is not willing to respect his family and his wife he is not allowed in the house.  I melted b/c it means the world to me to know that I mean so much to him.  He means the world to me.  So I need to stop the obsession and focus on the here and now with my wonderful husband.  That just might be my New Year's Resolution- stop the TTC obsession and refocus that energy!

Natural Ways to Improve your Fertiity

This is something that I have recently been looking into.  Not sure what I think about it, but I do know there is something to it.  My mom was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at a very early age and all the doctors said there was no hope for her.  She looked into the homeopathic stuff and was able to put her arthritis into remission- which shocked the doctors.

So this is what I found:

It is especially important to include certain vitamins and minerals in your diet. Try to include:

• Vitamin C and Antioxidants: these vitamins prevent sperm defects and boost sperm motility. They also reduce stress on your eggs and reproductive organs.
• Zinc: zinc deficiencies have been linked with reduced testosterone and semen levels.
• Calcium and Vitamin D: A daily, therapeutic dose of these nutrients have been shown to help increase male fertility.

Certain foods and chemicals should be avoided if you are having troubles becoming pregnant. Cut back on:

• Alcohol: alcohol can reduce your fertility levels by up to 50%. It can also decrease sperm count and increase the production of abnormal sperm.
• Caffeine: caffeine, found in coffee, teas, cola, and chocolate, has been shown to reduce both male and female fertility levels. As little as one cup of coffee a day can cut your chances of conception in half.
• Xenoestrogens: xenoestrogens are estrogens found in environmental chemicals and pesticides. Produce and other foods can have high levels of xenoestrogens, which, if ingested, may disturb your balance of hormones. Imbalaced hormones are often the cause of fertility issues.

Source: http://www.epigee.org/guide/infert.html

I am going to try it for the next IUI cycle.  What could it hurt? 

I has a sad.

An in-real-life friend just finished her 3rd IVF cycle and got a BFN.  Why, or why can we not get working bodies?  I wanted her to get a BFP so much more thatn me.  We will be going through the same thing again next cycle (Jan) ... she will do one more round of IVF, while I will do my second round of IUI.  Infertility sucks.  Big time!

On break

This cycle I am not doing ANYTHING to try to concieve.  Not going to think about it....(which is hard, especially this time of year when I see children and a part of my heart breaks, b/c I want one with J soooo badly).  I usally read a blog about TTC stuff, but am not going to do it this month.  I need to stop the obsession.  I think a strict, forced break is just what my soul needs at the moment. 

Today was our holiday work party.  We go to a Chineese food place for a "lunch".  It is really kind of silly, but they have a drawing for prizes.  There were 9 prizes this year and I "won" a free day off of work.  I'll use it one way or another.  I had the option of changing for something else, but opted not too and am glad I didn't do it.  A day off will work for me and I won't get taxed on it like you will with the other "prizes". 

The misadventures of our oven

Last Christmas our oven went out.  We were hosting Christmas dinner, so I basically baked everything in the toaster oven.  It sucked!  So my parents decided to give us a great gift that year and it was a brand new oven(!!!).  We shopped and  found one I loved at Sears.  It is a gas convection oven.  Well come Easter the oven literally flips out and would turn on then off!  I was hosting an Easter brunch so it chooses that time to go crazy on me.  Well, we call, find out that a part has been recalled on it and get it repaired.  2 months later it happens again.  We go through the same process again.  Aaaand then it happens again. And again.  Which brings us to today.  We have not received the part that was recalled (AGAIN!) but both me and my husband get a call from the repair man who wants to put the missing part in our oven.  Usually we call them to schedule the apt when we get the part.  Turns out they think the part was delivered and it wasn't so now they are re-ordering the part and we will call them when it is delivered.  Man, I hope this happens BEFORE Christmas as I don't want to be making another Christmas dinner in the toaster oven! 
:faceplant:

Aaand it is official... BFN!

At least I don't have to take the progesterone any more!  We will most likely try again in January as there are no benefits to doing IUI's back to back and we will have a house full of people at Christmas. For the next IUI cycle they are going to have me do the Gonal F injections way earlier and do it twice before coming in for a monitoring apt.  All I can say right now is infertility sucks.